Porch Reflections

✨ Porch Reflections on Self-Love

Another adventure…

As I sit on my front porch, the afternoon breeze brushes gently against my cheeks — like a whisper of kindness. And I hear the word 'self-love.'

It comes in so many subtle expressions —

in textures,

in tastes,

in colors,

in confirmations,

approvals,

even hesitations.

It’s not just a feeling — it’s a whole spectrum of presence.

And I realize…

I’m beginning to embrace them all.

There was a time I lost my confidence completely.

I didn’t trust people

I didn’t trust life.

But worst of all — I didn’t trust myself.

It was disheartening.

It was destructive.

And for a while, it felt like that pain lived in every single day.

But something is changing now.

It’s getting better and better.

I see it clearly:

the damage others can do with their words,

their judgments,

their distance.

And I ask myself with humility —

Have I ever done that to someone?

Have I ever unknowingly bruised another’s self-image?

God, I hope not.

I truly hope not.

Because I know now how precious and fragile this inner world is.

And I also know how strong we are to reclaim it.

There’s a quote I’m holding close today:

“The only person you have to be 100% yourself around… is you.”

And I’m learning to show up for her again.

With softness. With patience. With love.

— Lorene 🌿

5 Gentle truths that saved my Life

“5 Gentle truths “

It’s a soft and sacred remembering from my journey—and I hope one of these truths wraps around your heart like it did mine.

🌿 Truth 1: I Am Not My Body’s Pain.

My symptoms were loud, but they weren’t who I was. The ache, the fatigue, the breathlessness—it all had a voice, but I was still here underneath it. I learned to separate my soul’s essence from my body’s signals, and that was the beginning of peace.

> Gentle Practice: Place your hand over your heart. Whisper: “I see you, body. I love you. I am more than this.”

🌊 Truth 2: Healing Isn’t Linear, and That’s Okay.

Progress came in waves. I would rise, fall, rise again. Learning not to panic in the dips was part of the healing. I stopped measuring my worth by my progress chart—and started celebrating presence over performance.

> Gentle Practice: When you're having a low day, ask: “What if nothing is wrong here?”🌸 Truth

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> 3: I Don’t Need to Explain Myself to Feel Valid.

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> I lost people when I got quiet, when I changed my mind to certain beliefs, when I chose rest over proving. But I gained myself. I stopped explaining, justifying, defending. And in the silence, I found deep clarity.

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> > Gentle Practice: Write down: “Who am I without needing to be understood?”

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> 🔥 Truth 4: My Past Was Not a Mistake—It Was My Initiation.

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> The benzo injury, the religious trauma, the health crashes—they weren’t punishments. They were thresholds. I walked through fire and came out shaped by something holy. I wouldn’t go back, but I no longer curse the road.

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> > Gentle Practice: Close your eyes and bless a version of you that survived something hard.

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> 🌈 Truth 5: Joy Is Allowed Right Here, Even Now.

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> Not when I’m fully healed. Not when I’m successful. Right now. I started painting, dancing in my kitchen, speaking to the moon. Joy didn’t wait for the finish line—it was the medicine itself.

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> > Gentle Practice: Name one thing that brings you joy. Go do it, even for five minutes.

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> 💌my Closing Blessing:

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> Dear friend,

> These truths didn’t come from a book or a degree. They came from the wilderness. From late nights, from broken prayers, from fierce awakenings. If even one truth speaks to your soul, hold it close. Let it light the way forward.

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> You are not alone. And you are not your body.

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> With love,

> Lorene

The Midwife Within

A Part of My Story I’ve Never Shared… Until Now

As a teenager, there was nothing I wanted more than to serve on a mission trip in a third world country. So when I was finally sent to Belize, Central America, my heart soared. I was there to help lead a Bible school for young children, and to me, it felt like a dream fulfilled — a big, bold checkmark on my bucket list.

One afternoon, I went for a walk alone. The heat pressed down, the streets were quiet. I passed a crumbling old building with a broken sign that read “Belize Hospital.” But in a strange flicker of perception, the words shifted before my eyes — “Lorene Spiritual Midwifery.”

I blinked hard.

Closed my eyes.No. Absolutely not.

I didn’t want anything to do with being a midwife — not because I didn’t love babies, but because I didn’t want the mess. The pain. The blood. The rawness.

I actually ran.

Down the road.

As if I could outrun what I’d seen.

That night, I lay in bed wrestling with what I then understood as God. I asked, “What was that?” And the only impression I received was this: It’s not a physical midwife. It’s something spiritual.

I tucked that moment away for decades.

In the years that followed, I found myself helping people — emotionally, spiritually, physicallywalking alongside them through some of their deepest transitions. I assumed that was what it meant to be a spiritual midwife: helping others, healing others, staying busy, being useful.

But deep inside, something never sat quite right. Something about it still felt… incomplete.

Fast forward to now, and I finally understand:

Being a spiritual midwife is not about tasks.

It’s not about service alone.

It’s not about managing someone else's labor pains.

It is about presence.

It is about allowing the divine mystery to flow through me, not from me.

It is about the sacred act of revealing — not fixing, not doing — but— not fixing, not doing — but holding space for what is birthing in the cosmos itself.

Today, I know:

I am a spiritual midwife.

Not because I deliver others, but because I’ve delivered myself — again and again — into deeper truths, higher frequencies, and radiant wholeness.

And this work, this calling, this title I once ran from…

It is now the name etched in gold across the temple of my becoming.

Lorene

The Story of Me

I want to give a 5 minute read on my life as I remember it….

Here goes!

Did you grab your favorite drink, to sip as you read?

I’ll give you a minute…

okay- I was actually born and raised in an “Old Order Amish’ family, which is an adventure , all on its own. Living in prosperous America, we lived a very plain, humble, simple life, with no electricity, phones, cars, or any convenances of sort. Just the basics and far from what everyone else was enjoying! (or so it seemed to me)

Imagine with me a horse and carriage in the late 1950’s.

When i was born, there were 5 older siblings to welcome me, and later there were 10 of us altogether. My Mom had her hands full, keeping us all in good health and vibrant. And She did an outstanding balance in training us to be great children and adults.

I was blessed with great health and loved being outdoors in Nature! Thankfully, we were fans of “Hocking Hills” and “Old Man’s Cave” and visited it numerous times.

I do not have a lot of pictures of us, because we were discouraged to take any pictures, as it was not practiced in the “Amish” lifestyle.. but here is one, with myself circled, for you to see..

We lived on farm and had plenty of ‘chores’ and activities to keep us entertained and busy. Playing was always an after ‘all the work’ is completed. thing. My favorite play was with one of the farm cats , pretending she was my doll. it purred and squirmed, letting me know she enjoyed it as well.

Fast forward to my teenage yrs, when my parents decided to switch from ‘Old Order Amish’ to the next level of a very similar religion, which we will call “Level 2”. Still very programmed, but allowing us to have modern conveniences. The joy of owning our own vehicles, electric, phones, etc was heavenly.

Our outlook in life took on an entire New Meaning! We felt like Normal people and were impressed to ‘fit in’ with all the people around us!

*one thing that stands out in my memories is the many “Homemade Games” we did play with our large family, and still to this day, we play some of those games. I’ll tell you more about them later…

To keep this to a 5 minute read, I have to cut to the chase, as they say; and get to the point.

Have I lost you already?

One thing I experienced in my Adult life is “Health challenges” that was so disheartening and trying to me both physically and mentally. (Read my story on this page elsewhere- on my harsh experience with medication) and I am proud to say that I did survive, when I absolutely thought I wasn’t going to..

Definitely a humbling journey. I do relish the love and endurance my family gave to me during this experience. I will never take anyone for granted.

Let’s dive into my love for ‘teaching” as a teenager…

So, right after I graduated from 8th Grade Parochial School , I volunteered to be the teacher’s assistant, and helped with particular subjects, as well as crafts, etc. It was life-giving and I enjoyed every minute of it. Later I actually did teach all 8 Grades in the Parochial School, when I was old enough.

and add to this, I home-schooled all of our own children, but that is getting ahead of my story. I have to get married first. Right?

and here is one more picture for you to enjoy.. with a frame around myself.

Nothing stopped me from seeking, asking questions, and discovering everything I possibly could. And that inquiring mind has assisted me perfect in my adult life. When you seek, you find, and when you ask, you receive answers.

I will never quit learning and discovering…because it serves me perfectly.

And as for where I am at today… I am grateful for every step of the way in my life! It has been the most inspiring journey and full of mysteries and fond memories and no, I would not want to live my life over again! Would you?!

I have experienced deaths in my family and both of my parents are no longer here on this planet earth. They were so good for all of us and I treasure their impact they instilled in all of us.

Mom n Dad in this picture

I still feel their presence today in my consciousness. They were not perfect, but they sure did their best!

The biggest struggle I witnessed from them both, is when they ‘buried’ some of their own children. They were baffled, thinking they will pass long before any of their own children.

This is getting too long… and I don’t want lose you in the extended details. How about I add to the story and get to the point on why I wanted to write this in the first place?

So long for now… hang with me, I will be back with the best part.

Warmly,

Lorene Hochstetler :)

you are not responsible for other people’s happiness or problems

Do you often try to help your friends, family members, or even coworkers or acquaintances fix their problems?

This is something I see come up all the time with people who are on a path of spiritual and personal growth — I’ve done it too. When you’re experiencing beautiful shifts and miracles, you often want to help others. When you’re happy, you can even feel guilty about it and try to get others to be happy as well.

there’s a fine line between supporting and ‘fixing’ other people’s problems

We have to be careful, because there’s a fine line between supporting others and trying to “fix” them. This is something that readers discover in my book Judgment Detox. The book teaches them to lovingly witness their own judgment and heal it.

If you ever try to fix other people’s problems or make yourself responsible for their happiness, I hope the tips I offer in this post will help you to release that need.

You can watch the original video I recorded below, and keep reading for a breakdown of what I teach in it (plus new lessons).

we can’t fix other people’s problems

A friend was telling me about how she was visiting a very close friend of hers. This friend was going through a tough time, and when my friend left, she felt this heavy weight on her. She felt a responsibility to make sure her friend was okay. She also felt inadequate because she couldn’t solve her friend’s problems.

I told her, “You can’t be responsible for another person’s happiness.”

This can be really hard at times, especially if you’re a nurturing person or just deeply love the person who’s struggling. You want to be the fixer. You want to help them find the solution, make smart choices and see the light.

It might even feel selfish NOT to intervene and take care of things. After all, aren’t friends and loved ones supposed to support each other?

Yes, of course.

there’s a difference between loving and supporting someone and trying to fix their problems

But there’s a difference between loving and supporting someone and trying to fix their problems and make them happy. One you can do. The other you simply cannot. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. And, in fact, trying to take on the responsibility of another person’s happiness can hurt them in the long run and deprive them of miracles.

3 steps to follow when you want to fix other people’s problems

When you feel the urge to be the fixer, follow the three steps I outline below. You’ll feel immediate relief. You can release the need to be responsible for another person’s happiness. The weight will be lifted and you’ll be able to show up for your loved one AND yourself.

Step 1

remember that other people have their own guidance system

Everyone has their own guidance system, whatever it is they believe in — whether that’s intuition, angels, spirit guides, the Universe or God. Even if they don’t believe, there is a guidance that we believe in that we have to trust is protecting them and guiding them. Have faith in other people’s guidance systems.

Step 2

recognize that you can’t deprive someone of hitting bottom

I learned this a long time ago. You don’t want to deprive somebody of their bottom. Every one of us has experienced turning points in our lives. These are opportunities to pivot, to hit our knees and fully surrender. When you try to fix someone else, you just get in the way of their potential to experience this miracle. I want to encourage you to really own that you are not here to deprive anyone of their bottom. Give them the chance to experience exactly what they need to experience, and don’t be afraid of it.

Step 3

know that you can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed

We have to be conscious of the fact that it’s not our responsibility to change, or heal, or help, or resurrect anyone from their own issues and feelings. We have to trust that no one will change until they want to be changed. When they’re ready for that change to come into their life, then you’ll be there. You’ll be able to show up for them when they’re ready to show up for themselves.

what can you do for others instead of trying to fix them or make them happy?

While you can’t fix someone else or be responsible for their happiness, here’s what you can do.

You can pray for them to have it be gentle when they hit bottom, and for them to receive very clear direction when it happens. Send them a lot of love, set positive intentions for them and speak positively about them when you’re not with them.

trust in the power of your intentions and your prayer, and know that they are enough

In this process, while you’re allowing them to experience what they need to experience, and trusting that they’re being guided, just give yourself the opportunity to be in prayer for them.

Finally, if someone you love does come to you asking for help, there are some resources you can share. But just remember that you can’t coax, guilt or force anyone to take action.

the most loving thing we can do for someone is to accept them

As I teach in Step 4 of my book Judgment Detox: The most loving thing we can do for someone is to accept them. The most unloving thing we can do is try to change them. When you try to change someone you’re effectively saying that you know what is best for them. Your unsolicited “help” is a way of controlling and judging them. People may not show up the way you want them to, but when you accept them where they are you can let go, forgive and release.

If someone wants to change and asks for your help, you can show up and offer support. But it’s not helpful, kind or loving to try to impose change on anyone.

When we invite spirit in through prayer we return to our right mind and find acceptance.

gabby

accepting someone doesn’t mean you have to stick around

Accepting others where they are and forgiving them doesn’t mean that you let someone walk all over you. It doesn’t have to mean that you endorse what they’re doing. It means you allow them to be where they are and you don’t try to change them.

Sometimes when we accept someone for who they are, all we can do is accept them and move on from our relationship with them. We can say, “I accept you and I honor you, but I can’t be a part of this.”Important note: If you are in an abusive relationship, visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline online or call 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

accepting others gives you freedom, too

By consistently accepting someone where they are and seeing them with compassion, you realign with your true love nature. Through acceptance you release the resistance you’ve placed within your relationship, clearing the way for healing and for you to access more loving thoughts and feelings.

When you change your thoughts and feelings about another person, you change your energy toward them. The other person will receive your shift in energy and feel released by you. Best of all, your shift in energy gives you momentum to continue releasing judgment so you can feel complete and free. Acceptance offers you this freedom.

Trust the Universe and you can start cultivating happiness now. Follow the tips in my article on the do’s and don’ts of manifesting to focus on feeling good!